I’ve been approaching 2018 with a great deal of apprehension. I’ve spoken before about my use of the word for a year, and how I’ve had mixed results.
After the past couple of years and the large-scale changes, I can’t say I’m expecting too much for 2018. I’ve almost made no plans, in fact. Even this post is coming out part-way through January, because I’ve been withdrawn this month, taking stock, creating space for things to appear, yet not quite stepping out to find anything new.
In mid-December, I was considering the pros and cons of choosing a theme word again. But one word kept flitting through my mind:
I didn’t realise it, at least not consciously at first, how isolated I’ve become. Since 2015 when my mother was diagnosed with cancer, it feels like my life has been a series of cartwheels, through changing jobs, a third degree, buying a house, having two stories published (and however many rejected), getting personalised feedback from an agent on a manuscript, my own mental health struggles, physical health, raising two kitties… I ended 2017 in a state of ‘protective isolation’. Which, long-term, does more harm than good.
But where connection after so much isolation felt like a scary, I began thinking about TRUST. Trusting the process, the universe, my own capabilities and others around me.
And this paragraph practically leapt off the digital page at me:
“I trust my next breath will keep coming.
I trust the sun will rise tomorrow.
I trust Sparky will be wagging his tail when I walk in the door. I trust that the snow will melt.
Trust in the Now.” (p130, The Desire Map, Danielle LaPorte [Affiliate Link] )
I wanted to combine the two: to Trust in Connection. To Trust Connections.
In reality, both will foster each other. But I work with the Cognitive-Behavioural model, which gave me a slightly different way to keep both.
My behaviours this year should be CONNECTIVE. And my thoughts (or cognitions) will be encouraged to repeat the mantra to TRUST.