Welcome to my first week with the Weekend Writing Warriors.
The idea is to sign up on their site and share 8 sentences of your writing, published or unpublished, to go live between midday Saturday and 9am Sunday. Then anyone can comment (critiques welcome!) on the section posted.
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My 8 sentences today come from the first draft of Seven Sisters, Chapter One: although they are not from the opening scene.
A helicopter with a rotary blade at each end, known as a Chinook, passed them as they stood in a field of yellow grass; the only sign of life she had seen on their journey.
Even at the age of four, she had recognised the half burnt billboards, broken neon signs and metal casings of cars as human inventions. Elana had informed her of this dream world, where people played at happy families and smiled as politicians burned away taxes. But these were only the early symptoms of humankind’s steep demise. She heard of the third world, where children were starved of food, water and healthcare; while men and women in suits in the West would receive a medal for killing others.
Anya had been unable to fathom that such a world had really existed only a couple of years before her birth, but understood the desolation that humanity had left in its wake.
Growing up, she had taken her dragon further afield, mindful to avoid crossing the boundaries that marked the hunting grounds. Now she was twenty, she recognised that the earth was recovering, and she wanted to see it all.
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Want to know more? Check out the excerpts page to see other examples of my work.
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Elana sounds like a very curious person – and her view of the history of where she is sounds rather bleak/negative. I wonder what is in store for her. Nicely done #8
The world did fall into a state of bleakness, but that gave way for new things to grow. Thanks for commenting.
Wow. Great snippet. Interesting view of our world, accurate, but a bit depressing. Somehow, I think he curiosity to see the world is going to cause her some trouble
Thanks for the comment, Shannyn. It’s bit further downhill than our current world, but every slope starts with a dip. I hope to be sharing more of her journey in these snippets.
Interesting, helicopters and dragons? Will be fascinating to read more about how this state of affairs came to pass.
Yes, it’s a bit of an odd combination, I’ll admit! Thanks for your comment, Veronica.
Nice excerpt. I’m liking your fictional dystopia based on current times. 🙂 Nice 8!
Thanks, Teresa! I’m not sure it technically falls under dystopia, but I guess at least this scene does 🙂
The decay is ominous in this scene. Nice snippet 🙂
I guess that’s kind of what I was going for, so thanks 🙂
It’s very unusual to read a post-apolocalyptic story where a sense of hope comes through rather than absolute doom and despair. Anya’s curiosity and caution is a nice glimpse into her character and like everyone else, I’m intrigued by the use of dragons and helicopters.
Thanks for commenting, R Lee Smith. It is set a bit of time after the war, so the world is beginning to find ways of coping and recovering, although I’m afraid it doesn’t necessarily stay that way!
Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors! I love the world you’ve built in this excerpt. I’d love to read more of this story.
Thanks Carrie-Anne. It’s been great to read other people’s entries and to hear from other people about my work.
Oh wow, very intriguing. You know when I was reading it, the first part, it sounded like some other world, and then I thought, oh my, that is our world now. But the way you wrote it made it sound so bazaar and fictitious. Scary. Nice job!
Thanks for commenting; Glad it felt like a slightly different world, because in a way it is… it’s our world in a possible future 🙂
You seem to have created a very interesting world. I want to see what things look like on earth for Elana.
She’s been through it all, and that’s really shaped Anya’s worldview. Thanks for the comment.
An intriguing excerpt there.
Thanks for reading.